7 things I hated hearing when I was pregnant

pregnantEvery pregnancy is different. Even for women who’ve had 10 children, each pregnancy is unique and so is each woman’s experience. The following is a list of things people would say to me when I was pregnant with my daughter that I hated hearing.

  1. Aren’t you excited?
    Yes, I was excited, it was my own choice to have a baby but that didn’t mean I was excited every minute of the pregnancy. Also, this question is quite annoying the 345th time you hear it.
    What you should say instead: I am so happy for you, I look forward to seeing your little one when the time comes.
  2. A natural birth is the best option for mother and baby
    That may very well be, but one of the things that has been hardest for me to come to terms with regarding the birth of my daughter was the fact that I needed an epidural. I had decided I wanted a natural birth but when the time came I was screaming in agony unable to move at all.
    There is no reason for me to feel guilty about that. It doesn’t make me weak, accepting the help I need makes me stronger.
    Also, the happy gas they give you makes it hard to stop laughing, not because the gas is making you crazy but because you sound like Darth Vader.
    What you should say instead: The most important thing is the physical and mental health of mother and baby.
  3. What, no baby yet?
    Do I look pregnant to you? Yeah, I thought so. This was a very common question from family and friends during the last couple of weeks. The truth is most women go overdue during their first pregnancy. Of course I was impatient as well because I didn’t want anything more that for my baby to be finally born.
    What you should say instead: Is there anything I can do to help you pass the time?
  4. Wow, are you sure you’re not carrying twins?
    Actually I didn’t hear this one, but I would have hated it. This is one of those “makes you feel like a failure because you don’t fit into some stereotype” things. A woman who has a bigger belly than average is asked this question and it will probably make her feel fat or scared that her baby is too big, which can lead to complications during birth.
    What you should say instead: You look beautiful.
  5. What, are you sure you’re really that far along?
    This is the one I got to hear. Now my Vulcan brain knows that this was meant as a compliment but my human brain always managed to interpret this as “her baby is way too small” or the more illogical “this pregnancy is going to go on forever because it was miscalculated in the beginning”.
    What you should say instead: You look beautiful.
  6. You should sleep, while you still can.
    Even medical professionals said this to me but this is not good advice at all. I slept horribly when I was pregnant, mostly because I had to pee every three minutes, but I slept so much better after my daughter was born, even when she woke up during the night. I realize I was lucky that my baby started sleeping through the night at two weeks old but even parents who have babies who wake up in the middle of the night get more sleep than a pregnant woman. At least, usually, they can switch places. There is no switching places with a pregnant woman, although I kept begging my husband to carry our baby to term.
    What you should say instead: Is there anything I can do to help you get some rest?
  7. So, my cousin’s best friend’s sister had to have an emergency c-section and couldn’t see her baby for days…
    Of course it’s good to be prepared for the worst case scenario, not all pregnancies or births end well. But a pregnant woman, especially a first timer, has enough fears and worries. It’s best to let medical professionals deal with explaining what can go wrong and not scare a first time mother with stories of pregnancies that ended badly.
    What you should say instead: If there is anything I can do make sure everything goes well for you, please let me know.

What did you hate hearing when you were pregnant? Do you agree or disagree with any of these?

This entry was posted in Health.
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